Hospitals Suck

Don't get me wrong...I am SO damn grateful every day of our world class health care system; the doctors, the nurses....all fantastic. But hospitals suck.

I guess if you're in the pediatric wing it's not so bad....you get new life.  Little babies....fresh, healthy, happy, and really scared parents!  But the rest of the hospital sucks....people don't really smile.  Nurses, doctors, patients, visitors.....everyone is pensive...heavy like they are walking around with a weight on their shoulders.  That's how I feel every-single-time I walk down the hall.  Hospitals are a soul sucking place despite all of the excellent care that is being given.

I knew this before when Dad was in the hospital but it takes a really special person to be a nurse because everything is always a problem.  Bed 3 needs their lunch, Bed 2 needs to poop, Bed 1 needs their blood checked and then their insulin.  Bed 3 needs to be put back into be before they eat lunch.  Bed 1 needs lunch.  Bed 2 needs bedpan taken away, new person being brought in for Bed 4 and everyone needs vitals and meds.....and on and on and on and on....holy shit-balls!  The nurse takes care of 4 patients during the day, 6 at night....rounds take an hour and half and you need to read each chart first....and things get missed.  There's not one shred of consistency.  So we say the same things over and over and over again to each nurse that comes on staff and we breathe a sigh of relief when a nurse comes on that we have seen before!! 

And things get missed....my sister and I are constantly reminding the nurses that mom is a brittle diabetic, her insulin levels are very sensitive and if they start to drop, they could potentially plummet very quickly.  She has a broken arm!! How do nurses NOT know this??  Now especially that she isn't wearing her sling.  And where's the god damn air mattress??  Every time we want one it takes a week to order.  That's frustrating. 

Nurses put up with a lot of shit....verbally abusive patients that are coming out of anesthetic, physically abusive patients that are coming out of anesthetic, patients that are trying to escape, patients that won't eat,patients that weigh lots, patients that scoot to the end of the bed, rip out nose tubes, IV's and catheters......for 12 hours a day.  What an exhausting job.

I don't smile when I'm here.  I try to stay positive for my mom's sake but I don't smile....my face feels drained and when I go home at night I feel like I have left a little piece of my soul on that hospital floor. I help others that are here because the nurses are so damn busy.  So I help my mom's room mates get water with ice chips.  I console others who are scared and confused.  I help move tables, arrange phones, get bags because there is nothing like the feeling of helplessness and nobody should feel that way, ever. 

So, I continue to sit vigil with mom in her now private room.  I advocate, I talk when she can't, I am just a body so my mom doesn't feel helpless....or alone.....and I leave a little bit of my soul every day.

Because hospitals suck.