Fortune and Frustrations

I have the best job!  As a teacher, I belong to a union who has done their very best at looking out for the interests of their members.  Part of our contract enables staff to pay into a self funded leave and take either one semester or a whole year off.  What a great concept!! The board helps you save money so you can take the time off and still get paid. While I'm off, other teachers hired in my place get valuable teaching experience and most importantly I GET TO REJUVINATE!

I really really do love my job, but, to be a connected and inspirational teacher, one needs to spend an incredible amount of personal time giving timely feedback on evaluation, making daily lessons relevant and interesting (not short of a song and dance), volunteering lunch hours, doing fundraisers, coaching.... But basically using up all of your positive energy on everyone else's kids but your own.  So while I'm enjoying the ability to travel on my self funded leave (and I'm doing enough of it), I am very much enjoying the chance to spend time with my kids where I don't feel tired and spent and grumpy all the time. 

Travel....in between spending quality time with my kids, I am travelling.  I relish the chance to learn about other cultures, see amazing scenery or just relaxing enjoying a latte or a slushy drink on a beach! My close friend and I managed to explore Scandinavia,  Russia and Iceland on our last adventure and we are currently on our way with another friend to Palm Springs to explore the area and also relax by a pool. 

Travel doesn't need to be complicated or a hassle if the company you are travelling with knows their shit and has good infrastructure, business models and quality equipment (bus, train, aircraft).  Travelling for 6 weeks in Scandinavia was EFFORTLESS other than having the weight of my backpack, everything worked like clockwork.  Travel in North America is NEVER effortless.  We speak English for God sake and it's still confusing.  Whyyyyyy?!??!

Here are my complaint:

1 - flying to the USA takes FOREVER at the airport when we leave Toronto to clear security and customs. Europe,  hop on, clear customs at the other end, smaller numbers to deal with. 

2 - In Europe and Scandinavia,  ALL modes of travel were always on time, not so much in North American.  Why the fuck can't we be on time.  Our flight lands early (shocker) and we wait for an HOUR on the tarmac waiting for our gait to clear.  What??? And then we're late...would never happen in Europe. 

3 - In flight entertainment.  What a great idea, let's provide WiFi for our customers....but if you're running Android,  too bad, you need an older OS version.  What??? So I'll watch a movie provided on the plane....I have to pay???? WTF?  Don't we get it up the ass alrwady paying for the seat and luggage and upgrades and food?? Goddamn, just make the movies work.  ALL planes in Scandinavia, free entertainment, USB ports in seat backs.  Not complicated.  (This issue has me very hot under the collar right now).

4 - people following rules.  I like people who abide by the rules, like sizes for carry on luggage.  How the hell does a fucking guitar fit in one of those carry on boxes....oh wait, how about 3??? 3 fucking guitars?! Jesus, who let these people on the plane.  What if I wanted to bring my golf clubs...same thing?  MAKE THEM CHECK THEIR GUITARS AS FRAGILE OVERSIZED LUGGAGE.

5 - large people on planes.  While I feel sorry for their situation they make MY experience difficult.  I'm sitting in an aisle seat.  Not a very wide aisle.  Guy on opposite side of aisle takes up half of the aisle....which means every time someone walks by, they have to invade MY seat space to get passed him.  EVERY...TIME! I have to share my space and I'm not even sitting next to him. 

6 - accessing luggage during the flight.  If one more man puts his penis in my face I'm going to dick punch.   Seriously....this was also said large man accessing his luggage and another man squeezing my way because of large man....JESUS!

End rant...

Palm Spring airport is amazing.  Off we go in our convertible under sun and palm trees with amazing vista's in the distance.  Let the games begin!

Time Passes

It's been a year since I started my leave to be with my dad in his final days.  I now find myself on leave again, but this time to deal with my own health issue...my bum knee.  This is not what I bargained for at this age...but here we are and I have a knee that has decided to go tits up, beyond certain repair. But I've had surgery in the hopes that I will be able to create a little bit of tissue to coat the surface of my bone and add a bit of cushion so the knee will last at least another 7-8 years before I need a partial replacement.

This is all terrible news to me.  I'm quite devastated.  It seems like I went from being very able bodied to very broken in the span of a week.  And by very broken, I mean VERY!  I can't do ANYTHING I used to.   No kneeling,  croutching, bending, no sports at all, no standing for long periods, and basically no walking properly which is wreaking havoc with the rest of my body and making me an entirely undesirable person to be around. 

Yup, I'm a straight up bitch.  Grumpy and tired all the time!   But that's what chronic pain does to humans... It wears us down, makes us irritable and unhappy.   This is what dad felt for the last 10 years and it scares me!! I am finding that I'm thinking about him a great deal while I'm off recovering from surgery.   I grunt and groan as he did getting off the couch and he was 35 years older than me!  WTF.  I rub my knee a lot and I'm sitting around in comfortable loose pants.... Just like him. So I am then forced to ask myself, how will my healing and dealing be different than dad's.  I'm still working on that one.

I read a funny post from a friend today.... The human body can create a fully functioning little human complete with a respiratory system,  circulatory system, and nervous system and all of that but it takes us 7 years to heal from a sprained ankle and it will never be the same again!! Like seriously?   I created 2 tiny little humans but my body can't heal a tiny spot on my knee.   Doesn't seem right.

And just to add insult to injury, I've been forced to start taking blood thinners because of a post surgery clot in my leg. The prescribing nurse at the hospital warned me not to hit my head..... ☑, not to fall or bang into anything.... ☑, not to cut myself (shaving is now a high risk sport).... ☑ BUT the kind woman neglected to fill me in as to how blood thinners would negatively impact my body WHEN I HAVE MY PERIOD!  Holy hell is all I have to say!!  I hope it stops soon before I become anemic!

So, time certainly passes, at a very quick pace.   But a day doesn't go by that I don't think about my dad.   Most of the time it makes me sad, but more frequently, I laugh about what dad would have said or done in certain situations.  I loved his Gino-isms.  Just last night I was frustrated about something and it had me quite upset, so I had to hobble around the island in the kitchen a few times on my crutches.  Dad would have asked why I was 'pasteing', of course he would have meant to say pacing but it never came out that way. I laughed very hard.

I am hoping that the lead up to Christmas this year will be less painful than it was last year... It was almost unbearable at times.  Overwhelming sadness that I didn't know how to compartmentalize.... And then just like that after Christmas, it was gone. I miss him terribly... It'll be a tough few weeks ahead I'm sure.

But I'll reflect....and given time, this wound too will heal and be replaced with a thousand new memories...good or bad...it's how we humans role. Now if only we could figure out how to grow a new knee....